Tuesday, March 28, 2006

At a loss

I've seen a lot in my short time. I've been fortunate to travel, see things that most people haven't had the opportunity to see. It's usually been good. But sometimes, you have to take the bad with the good - because in all my life I have never seen something like this.

It's a statue of Britanny Spears giving birth. It's just wierd. The link isn't pronographic or anything, so don't worry about that...but it's...I don't really know how to describe it.

The artist is trying to make a statement about abortion in this too. What his statement is, I have no idea. Nor do I really care. I'm having trouble getting past the sculpture.

It's odd.

and disturbing

I have to go now.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Rachel Corrie and the inability to speak...

Was reading the Speculator today. He had a fantastic piece on the Rachel Corrie play being canceled in New York. It's a facinating piece and Patrick, as always, makes some poignant remarks concerning the issue of art vis-a-vis its place in commenting on hot button, politically divisive issues.

Where do I stand on the issue? I think it's pretty clear. The fact of the matter is that there is a slight difference between the Corrie play and the Mohamed cartoons. I don't really see this as an issue of self-censorship, I see this as an issue of refusing, still, to have any rational debate in this country concerning what is happening in the West Bank and the Gaza strip. These are very emmotional issues, prone to rampant hyperbole, bigoted statements, absolute positions and little, if any, discourse. Particularly in the United States. In fact, most especially in the United States.

Most Israeli's came to a realization many, many years ago. They were going to have to eventually interact and live side by side with the Palestinians. In turn, most Palestinians have come to that very same conclusion. So what gives? Why is there no real debate on the topic in the United States, the most powerfull force in the Middle East peace process?

It's a good question, and is one that is symbolized by the following letter: A I P A C. AIPAC. Harvard University's Kennedy School of Government just released the following study. It's long, but definitely worth reading if anyone wants to thoroughly disect the interplay between discourse concerning Israel in the United States and AIPAC. It stands to note that they take great pains to point out that this is not some "Protocal of Zion" type piece, but is an actual discussion concerning lobby, in a manner similar to how one would discuss the power wielded by the NRA, AARP, etc. This is not to say that the use of a powerful lobby is wrong, it really isn't. In fact, most any special interest group wishes it played the game in much the same manner. But the question becomes, what is the end result of this alliance? Furthermore, what happens to debate when one is immediately accused of being an anti-Semite as soon as he mentions the existance of an Israeli lobby.

As is mentioned in the Harvard report:

No discussion of how the Lobby operates would be complete without examining one of its most powerful weapons: the charge of antiSemitism. Anyone who criticizes Israeli actions or says that pro-Israel groups have significant influence over U.S. Middle East policy-an influence that AIPAC celebrates—stands a good chance of getting labeled an anti-Semite. In fact, anyone who says that there is an Israel Lobby runs the risk of being charged with anti-Semitism, even though the Israeli media themselves refer to America’s "Jewish Lobby." In effect, the Lobby boasts of its own power and then attacks anyone who calls attention to it. This tactic is very effective, because anti-Semitism is loathsome and no responsible person wants to be accused of it.

Or as Cornel West puts it in Democracy Matters:

"those in the powerful Jewish lobby - though far from monolithic and certainly not an almighty cabal of Zionists who rule the United States or the world (in the vicious language of Zealous anti-Semites)- are far to the right of most American Jews and are often contemptuous of prophetic Jewish voices. In fact their preoccupation with with Israel's security at the expense of the Palestinian cry for justice has not only produced little security for Israel but also led many misinformed Jews down an imperial path that suffocates their own prophetic heritage.

Now, many of you know that I am a Westian, so when the Good Lord speaks to me about this stuff, well I listen. I find it interesting that people like Cornel West (one of the co-heads of Tikkun - along with Rabbi Michael Lerner and Susannah Heschel) felt the need to qualify his statements about the mere existance of the lobby by stating outright that he does not view it as this overarching "cabal". In fact, Professors John Mearsheimer of the University of Chicago, and Professor Stephen Walt of Harvard both state the same thing in their Kennedy School piece by stating:


The Lobby’s activities are not the sort of conspiracy depicted in anti-Semitic tracts like the Protocols of the Elders of Zion. For the most part, the individuals and groups that comprise the Lobby are doing what other special interest groups do, just much better. Moreover, pro-Arab interest groups are weak to non-existent, which makes the Lobby’s task even easier.

This is clearly to attempt to head off the inevitable. Which is, the charges of anti-Semitism that will come crashing down upon them for having the balls to question an Isreali policy.

It's akin to every American anti-war activist having to qualify each and every statement concerning the war by starting off with "I support the Troops and don't want any more to die, but" and then stating their rationale for why the Bush administration lied and forced us into the war. It's a joke.

Anyway, I think I strayed mildly off topic there...what were talking about? March Madness? Anyway, let me know what you think...

Thursday, March 23, 2006

A New Knight

Found another one to put at the table. This guy's good folks. Raw, funny, smart, uncensored, unwilling to dumb down his work for the masses. I'm talking about the Sport Coat Speculator. He's good. Go visit his site. It'll make you laugh and think (often at the same times).

I sat down with Patrick Dubya and conducted this interview for my readers:

Soze: Thanks for joining us Mr. Dubya.

Sport Coat Speculator: Pleasure is all mine Soze. May I add that I love what you've been doing over at "Why I'm Mad"?

S: Well, thank you for noticing. I think we've been doing some great things too.

SCS: I agree, and that's not just speculation.
(laughter)
S: Oh man, that was a good one. Anyway, can you address reports that you're related to the President George Dubya?

SCS: Well, Soze, I believe that's just speculation.
(laughter)
S: Nice. So, what have you been up to lately?

SCS: Speculating.

S: I see. Anything else?

SCS: Nope. Just a whole bunch of speculation.

S: Ah-huh, about anything in particular?

SCS: Well, I think you'll just have to check out the blog to see, now won't you?

S: A good point. A quick question about your writings: Where do you come up with some of this stuff? It's witty, funny, interesting and I often times find myself agreeing with what you're saying.

SCS: Well, that's because you're smart, Soze. And may I say that your antenna seems to be acutely aware of the issues of race, not only in the US but around the world as well?

S: Yes, you may.

SCS: Your antenna seems to be acutely aware of the issues of race, not only in the US but around the world as well.
(laughter)
S: Another good one Mr. Dubya. Another good one.

And to you, dear reader, please go out and populate the pages of the speculator...you won't be disappointed. Stake my blogging reputation on it.

Thank you for reading. Good night and Good luck.
(err, wait..nevermind)

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Yeah, umm

I don't think that people understood that the last post I made was a joke and that none of it actually took place. I didn't really put up an actual e-mail from my girlfriend, just like anonymous' name really isn't anonymous.

The idowhatiwant part is true, however.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

FYOTW

Well folks, we had a tie this week. We've got two talking heads who deserve a Fuck You Of The Week. If you thought Cancer and Fred Phelps were bad, well then hold on to your hats cuz these two are real fuckers in my book.

Regular readers to the Mad Man's Digest (nice name huh) will see that there are two distinct members of the Mad Men (my readers) who routinely write in with there thoughts on my posts. These two people are "idowhatiwant" and "anonymous". Many of you don't know them, you're lucky. These two scourges are not only members of my little universe in cyberspace, but I actually know them in real life. So, for those of you fortunate enough not to have to deal with them, please allow me to introduce them to you.

idowhatiwant. Now there's a clown if ever there was one. Raised in the once great city of Baltimore, Maryland - effectionatly referred to as Bawlmer - idowhatiwant has spent a great deal of his life "doinwhatiwant, bitch". He can usually be found harrassing members of the Syracuse University contigent of Washington, DC, asking them for what it feels like to have sports teams that actually win without having to go out and break every NCAA rule governing the interactions between athletes and boosters. Presently in law school he has "discovered" a new medium called "blogging". I have provided a picture of idowhatiwant. It's located here. He's the one on the right of the screen. As you can see, he loves the cock.

Andrew Michael Anonymous hails from the capitol of the fair state of Maryland. No, not Baltimore you ignorant ass, he's from Annapolis. For those of you who don't know, Annapolis is the home of the US Naval Academy as well as the setting of the new movie, aptly named, Annapolis. I'm sure many of you thought that Anonymous was writing in under that moniker to hide his identity, unfortunately it's his real name. After graduating from a liberal community college in Rhode Island anonymous currently spends his time pursuing a budding career as a slum lord. "It's my only real passion" he frequently says, "those poor bastards are the only thing that keeps me from having to work hard". An honorable man he can frequently be found threatening "some poor schlub" into "paying me my God damn money before I throw you and your whole family onto the streets". A man not to be trifled with, he occasionally hosts high stakes poker games at his downtown mansion. "I figured look, 30,000 square feet is just about right for me now that I'm out of college, you know?" Yes anonymous, I do know. I happen to agree. If the tenant didn't want to pay your 83% rent increases annually they shouldn't have moved in and signed a 10 year lease. Who cares how small the fine print was, and whether or not the lease flowed back and forth between English, Turkish, Russian, Greek and Hebrew? You go their signature on the document and that's all that matters.

Anyway, after some considerable thought, I have decided that maybe these two are actually worse than Fred Phelps and Cancer. Stands to reason, correct? Anyway, please vote below and we'll see who the real fucker is.

Who deserves the FYOTW
Anonymous
idowhatiwant
Cancer
Fred Phelps
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Ummm, Bullshit?

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Take Me To the Movies...

I'm a huge movie buff. I haven't mentioned it before, but I have a quasi-photgraphic memory when it comes to movies. I love them. I am particularly fond of international films. I recently heard about a new movie from Muslimsgohomeland. For those of you who aren't geography buffs or cartographers, Muslimsgohomeland is located in between Belgium and Germany, bordering the North Sea.

Anyway, Muslimsgohomeland just sponsored a new movie, it's pretty good as far as I can tell. It mentions homosexuality, so it's going to be nominated for at least 3 Academy Awards, which is nice.

For would-be immigrants to the Netherlands, this film is a test of their readiness to participate in the liberal Dutch culture.

Awe, isn't that nice? Such sweet people, they're going to make sure you're ready first. Obviously this is the "assimibility test" that was alluded to in my most recent post on Muslimsgohomeland.

See here's the thing: The test kind of implies that it will ferret out those who would be offended to the "liberalism" found there. Which is nice, I guess. But this seems to be extraordinarily racist. I'm not sure why, it just seems like they targeting a certain group while letting white people be free....again, I can't explain why...oh, wait. I figured it out:

EU nationals, asylum-seekers and skilled workers who earn more than $54,000 per year will not be required to take the 30-minute computerized exam.

Also, citizens of the United States, Australia, New Zealand, Canada, Japan and Switzerland are exempt.


So, there we have it. If you're white or Japanese (?) don't worry about it. We don't care about your views on homosexuality or really anything. If you want to come here, come on over. But, if you're not white...well then look, you'd better be willing to accept any and everything about us lest we send you back to that God-Awful shithole you somehow dug your dirty, Arab body out of.

They also seem to be picking on the poor. You have to pay $420 freaking dollars to take this test!!! What the hell is that? Is there an exemption for people who are poor, or does Muslimsgohomeland not care about them? Fuck the poor. That's the cost of the test. If you want to prepare for the test you have to buy the "preparation" package. What's included you ask? Well, it's the video, a CD-Rom and a book on famous people from Muslimsgohomeland. That's an extra $75. So, somehow you need to scrounge up $495 just to have the honor of being personally insulted, quite intentionally I might add, so that they can review your test score and tell you "well, sorry. I don't think it's going to work out".

And what the fuck are the Japanese doing in there? Did they sit around, look at the exemptions list and say:

"Hmm, EU, Canada, Switzerland, USA, Australia and New Zealand. Is that too obvious? OH! I got it, put Japan on there. They're liberal and rich. Just the other day I was on Rich Horny Asians.com and saw lots of Japanese girls on there. It was a good one."

Something tells me that that's pretty close to what happened.
Anyway, if Muslimsgohomeland had a Statue of Liberty, I wonder what her poem would look like:

Much like the brazen giant of Greek fame,

With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame

Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exits From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide scorn; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
"Keep, other lands away from me!" cries she
With silent lips. "Give me your happy, your wealthy,
Your select elite yearning to breathe free,
As for the wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Keep these, the homeless, tempest-tost from me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"



Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Rarely am I ever rendered speechless...

but this is amazing.

That's about right...

Knights of the Roundtable

As many of you can tell I have decided to link you to, in my mind, some of the best blogging work currently located on the internet. To the right of the message you are currently reading you will find the "Knights of the Roundtable". These represent my trusted sources of information and can be pretty funny.

The Lazy Asian - I have only recently discovered The Lazy Asian, but I must say: HUGE FAN of his work. As a lover of Asians myself, lived with one for a couple of years, I feel that he represents some of the most intelligent and humurous commentary currently located on the internet. Go visit his site and provide him with an increased non-Asian readership.

Tomorrow and Probably - Written by idowhatiwant, Tomorrow and Probably provides you with an interesting look into the mind of a soon to be attorney. If you have an interest in maybe one day going to law school, please, go visit this site and see if you have what it takes to become longwinded and pedantic. If you cannot take the heat, however, get your ass out of the courtroom.

Blue Basillica - Blue Basillica was once one of the funniest blogs I had ever read. He came out shooting, my friends, however for the past several weeks he has been mailing his posts in. I don't know what happened to him, but if he does not step it up he may lose his spot at the table. You're on notice Basillica...write or suffer the consequences.

Lies, damn lies

Seriously, I love Carla J. Martin. She has brought me an immense amount of joy the past couple of days. I've always wondered if the "dumbest person alive" ever existed, and now she has shown herself to me. What's more, she's currently working in the same city I work in. I wonder if after she goes to jail I could go visit her, just to tell her how big a fan I am of stupidity.

For those of you who aren't paying attention, Carla J. Martin is an attorney with the TSA. She's on the Zacarias Moussaoui trial. See, Zeke is a terrorist. He's the only person ever tried in the US for the crimes of 9-11. He was going to get the death penalty, but Carla made sure he didn't get it. "How?" you ask? Well, Carla is a liar. She's also a cheat (and not a very good lawyer from what I can surmise). Carla broke pretty much every rule the judge had in place regarding the treatment of witnesses.

Let me just tell you what the judge had to say about this calling Martin's actions ""the most egregious violation of the court's rules on witnesses in all the years I've been on the bench."

Harsh words from the judge. But, realistically, Judge Brinkema has only been on the Federal bench since 1993. How much could she really have seen in that time? Wait a minute...apparently she's also a history buff: "In the annals of criminal law, I don't know if there has ever been a case with this many significant problems."

Damn dude, that's kind of harsh, no? I wonder if this is going to have ramifications on other cases she's worked on. I mean, can't someone who's lost a case before her simply ask for a retrial stating that obviously she's a cheat? I know, they'd need proof of witness tampering first, but I think every lawyer who's ever faced her is currently speaking to the entire witness list right now, no?

This begs the question: why did she do it? And what is she going to tell the court when she inevitably gets brought up on some form of charges. Is she going to say that she didn't know she couldn't tamper with the witnesses? Well, let's ask her mom:

Ms. Martin's mother, Jean Martin Lay, said she spoke to her daughter Monday night.

"She was so devastated," Ms. Lay said in a telephone interview from her home in Knoxville, Tenn. "She said she just didn't hear the judge."

Ms. Lay said her daughter was in the courtroom when Judge Brinkema issued the order on handling witnesses, but was probably concentrating on something else "instead of being mindful."

Mom's are cool, aren't they? I know my mom would probably mention that I was had a natural propensity for day dreaming if I were ever in the same situation.
It would go like this:

"Oh, well Soze is very bright. I love him very much, but sometimes he just stares out of windows and doesn't really pay attention. Also, was this 'law thing' part of his homework? Because he never really liked doing the homework he was assigned, and that could explain it all."

Awe, thanks mommy.

But is Carla really that bad? Well, here's something else from our friends at the NY Times:

According to court records, she led an effort on behalf of the government to try to intervene in a defamation, discrimination and malicious prosecution lawsuit brought against Lufthansa by one of Mr. Pishevar's clients. The client was Kamyar Kalantar-Zadeh, an Iranian-born doctor, now an American citizen and associate professor of medicine at U.C.L.A. who was arrested and spent a night in jail after complaining about discriminatory treatment by Lufthansa officials at Dulles International Airport.

Lufthansa tried to have the case dismissed by filing a secret motion that said it had detained Mr. Kalantar to follow a secret F.A.A. security directive. According to court records, Ms. Martin urged Lufthansa to withhold the summary judgment motion and the security directive from both Mr. Kalantar and his lawyer, Mr. Pishevar. Court records show that Ms. Martin said to one Lufthansa lawyer that ordinarily much of the evidence would be available to lawyers for a plaintiff. But she said the government sought to keep all the material from Mr. Pishevar, an American citizen and member of the bar in Washington, Maryland and the
United States Supreme Court, because he had worked for an organization that fights discrimination in the United States against Iranians.

Judge Henry H. Kennedy Jr. of the Federal District Court in Washington ultimately denied the effort to dismiss the case and directed the government to turn over the material, which remains under seal, Mr. Pishevar said. The case has not yet been set for trial. Mr. Pishevar said he still felt numb from his experience with Ms. Martin, who he said was "from behind the scenes, trying to pull many of the strings."

Told about the latest developments in the Moussaoui case, Mr. Pishevar paused, then said, "Res ipsa loquitur," a Latin legal term meaning, "The thing speaks for itself."


OHHHHHHHHHHHHH. HE BUSTED OUT SOME LATIN ON HER ASS!!!!!!!!!

So, back to the "why". I believe she's going to come out and declare that she's recently converted to Islam and wanted to ensure that Al-Qaeda wins. Either that or she's going to come out and be really against the death penalty. To the point of being willing to go to jail for it.

Monday, March 13, 2006

I happen to be...

Was on the subway today and I saw something very interesting. It was an average, run of the mill white anglo saxon American speaking with two gentlemen who seemed to be either of Pakistani or Afghani descent. The white gentleman was effusive in his wanting to be helpful. He was providing subway directions to the two men whose english was somewhat limited. The whole scene struck me as funny. Not for any particular reason, it just seemed that the man, heretofore referred to as Whitey McWhite, was kind of over the top in his desire to be clearly welcoming and helpful to these two immigrants, non-resident aliens, illegals who were struggling to navigate the subway system of Washington, DC.

It got me to thinking: are we as a society turning a corner in dealings with Arabs? Nah, probably not. But I was wondering Arab is the new black. Does knowing one of us now qualify as the new currency of our time? You're probably confused. So here's what I mean.

For the longest time white people sort of felt permission to deride African-Americans when there is none around. When the incredibly offensive comment is made, and someone else says, laughingly, something along the lines of "awe, that's bad" the white person usually gets to say "Oh, come on...some of my best friends are black" or when they are in the middle of a conversation and instantly want "street cred" they will reference their friend who "happens to be black" and immediately that tells whomever they are speaking to that they are not a racist, bigot, homophobe, etc. because they "know" someone of that ilk.

Anyway, I was staring at the interaction and I started to wonder about whether or not Whitey McWhite would go home that day feeling as though he had done a good deed, not only for helping out a foreigner, but for helping out a foreigner from a land that is currently being attacked throughout the west. Does he go home and say "well, I am not one of the racists...I helped out one of them earlier today on the subway...so long as they don't try and own one of our ports I'm happy with them doing whatever it is they want to do here"? This inveriably led me to start to wonder about myself. Am I the currency that some people use to permit themselves to make quasi-racist, offensive comments about Arabs/ Muslims when I am not around, and then say "well, my friend happens to be Arab/Muslim, so that grants me some form of permission to say x, y, z."? I hope so, I think that would be cool. Really cool.

I know, you're confused again. Here's why it's cool. If people need me to be their currency in situations where I am not around, they will need to protect their ability to have their friend "who happens to be" around...and that's where I can start abusing them. I just need to find out who it is, that's all. Once I do that the sky's the limit. "Excuse me Whitey, can you please do me a favor and go buy me my beer? Cool. Go grab me a case of vodka? Dynooooomite."

So, if you ever here someone say "My friend Soze, who happens to be an Arab/Muslim" Please CALL ME and tell me. I need this information. I can be reached at 1-800-Whitey Sucks (yes, I have a toll free number-Jealous?).

Huge fan of...

Saw this blog today, read it, almost died laughing.

Go visit this person's site. She is funny as fuck.

She's also going to get a seat of honor on my Blog links.

Pourquoi Claude, pourquoi?

Alright everyone, sit back, relax, grab a drink...cause this is a dooozy.

This post is about Claude Allen. Claude Allen is easily one of my new favorite people. See, Claude Allen is a thief. Not just any thief, Claude Allen likes to steal from Target. His method was extraordinarily interesting. You see, Claude used to go to Target, purchase good, place them in his car, go back into Target with the bag and the receipt, find the same item on the shelf, place it in the bag and then take it to the counter for a refund. He would then have the items for free. I guess this is slightly more ingenious than simply taking the items and shoving them in his pocket, but the outcame is the same.

So, what makes this interesting you ask? Well, Claude used to be the Chief Domestic Policy Advisor for President Bush. Shocking, huh? What I don't understand is why he didn't just talk Bush into cutting taxes some more. I mean, he would have wound up with the same amount of money in his bank account and the items. Couldn't that have been a slightly more roundabout way of getting the items he needed?

Here's a quote from Allen's attorney Mallon Snyder. Counselor Snyder said he feels confident that Allen will be able to prove that the incidents were "a series of misunderstandings."

I misunderstand some things sometimes too. Like just the other day I bought a Ferrari and financed it with someone else's credit info. See, I misunderstood that when you buy a car it has to be under your name. I thought you just had to find the information of someone who could afford it. My mistake.

Anyway, I would really love to be a fly on the wall while he explains this. "You see, here's the deal: I thought that that's how the system works. You buy something, put it in your car, and then use the receipt to return to the store something you didn't buy. Sorry guys. I didn't understand."

Either this guy has the IQ of a mule, or he thinks we do. I love his resume: B.A. UNC-Chapel hill, followed by a stint on the team of Sen. Jesse Helms (wtf???). Then he decided to go to Duke for Law School. After law school he went to... WAIT A MINUTE. HOLY SHIT!! I FIGURED IT OUT.

It's so simple. You see, anyone who commits crimes this stupid do so for any number of reasons, but the primary one is that they hate themselves. You see, I'm not a psychiatrist, but I play one in real life. By coupling together degrees from UNC-Chapel Hill and Duke he instinctively hated students from the other campus. Unfortunately, however, this included himself. He was torn. He wanted to hate the others, nay he HAD to hate the others, but in doing so he hated himself. THAT'S WHY.

Dude, someone confer a Ph.D on my right now. Fuck it, you bitches can just call me doctor from now on.

My favorite part about this is that he was up for a Federal Judgeship. Woops. Talk about some bad character screening by the Bush White House.

Now I understand

Alright...I figured it out. I now know why we need to have secret military tribunals, illegal detention centers and so on... It's not that we intentionally want to violate anyone civil liberties, it's just that our government officials are so patently inept that they really have no clue as to how to win a slam dunk case. It's located here if you like.

It's comical really. The guy pleads guilty, there is no realistic chance that a jury finds in his favor on anything...honestly, no way in hell. So, what happens? The fucking lawyer from the FAA actually sits down with transcript of the proceedings and SHOWS it to the potential witnesses from the FAA. Jesus Christ, what the fuck? Do we simply want to have an excuse for the tribunals? Is that what this is?

Friday, March 10, 2006

A new delicacy

I haven't mentioned this before, but I'm somwhat of a food expert. I have an extraordinarily refined pallet and am frequently asked to appear in my friends kitchens to taste their culinary concoctions (alright fine, I show up at my friends houses right as their about to eat and grub food off them-geesh, you didn't have to be so rude about it).

Anyway, I saw this today and got hungry. We're making Arab foie gras! How cool is that? I wonder what it'll taste like?

I started trying to figure out why we decided to make Arab foie gras, and then I found this. Turns out we are banning the force feeding of animals for the production of foie gras in California by 2012. We obviously need another production source since we don't want to be importing things from Freedom Land (France).

Now, I know what you're thinking. You thinking, could this really be the same thing? Well, the answer is yes.

Wikipedia describes the force feeding of the animals this way:

The feed is administered using a funnel fitted with a large tube (20 to 30 cm long) which forces the feed into the animal's esophagus. If using an auger system to drive the feed, the procedure takes about 45 to 60 seconds. If using a pneumatic system, the process takes only about 2 to 3 seconds. Care is taken during the feeding process to ensure no damage to the esophagus occurs, which could cause injury or death in the animal.


So that's how the animals are treated. Here's how the other animals (Arabs) are treated:

Authorities at the camp have been accused of inserting a tube into the nose and down to the stomach of a prisoner on hunger strike and keeping him strapped in a chair for hours at a time, forcing him to defecate and urinate in his clothes.

So there you have it. At least the birds are allowed to wander around after they're fed. The prisoners have no such luck. I guess we should be kind of honored that they would choose to prepare Arabs in the same manner that one would prepare a fine delicacy, kind of like how we should be honored that Arabs were taken to an island in the Caribbean for storage (err, housing), but seeing as how only 10 of the 500 (.02%) have been formally charged with a crime, something rubs me the wrong way about this. Especially since this guys hunger strike went on for 5 months prior to his being force fed. What that tells me is that it wasn't a total hunger strike. He was still getting nutrients somehow. He had to have been, he'd be dead otherwise. So, why decide to force feed him now? Seems like just another attempt to prove to someone in prison (who is in prison without any charges being filed against him whatsoever) that he really has no rights while he is there. He does whatever you say whenever you say it.

I like how the World Medical Association is trying to get the American Medical Association to abide by the agreement they signed back in 1975 stating opposition to this type of force feeding. Don't they realized that an American's signature only means that we recognize that the agreement exists for the sole purpose of enforcement against other nations? I mean hell, we signed the Geneva Convention, didn't we? That hasn't stopped us from breaking that.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

I'm Back

I'm back folks. Got shut down for a couple of days by blogspot.com. Apparently I got flagged by their robot as being spam. I don't think I've ever been so insulted in my entire life. I mean, I'm no Shakespeare, Mellville, Twain or Ronzio, but to have my writing confused with Spam is slightly depressing.

Anyway, below is the give and take I had with blogspot concerning my blog:

Hello,Your blog has been reviewed, verified, and whitelisted so that it will nolonger appear as potential spam. If you sign out of Blogger and sign backin again, you should be able to post as normal. Thanks for your patience,and we apologize for any inconvenience this has caused.Sincerely,Blogger Support



To Whom it May Concern;
Thank you very much for you speedy reply. Honestly, it was infinitely faster than anticipated. Although I would have preferred a detailed response to my actual problem, I am well aware of the need to simply send out a stock answer in the hopes that people can figure out problems on their own. Unfortunately, I am not able to handle this situation without the help of some members of your fine organization.
On to my problem; I keep getting the following message when I try to create a new post:

WARNING

This blog has been locked by Blogger's spam-prevention robots. You will not be able to publish your posts, but you will be able to save them as drafts.
Save your post as a draft or
click here for more about what's going on and how to get your blog unlocked.

Now, as you can tell by the fact that I am writing in to complain, I do, in fact, exist. I have submitted multiple attempts to get this handled through the link on the page, however that has yet to work. If it's at all possible, would you please take care of this? I consider this to be a very high priority, although I would understand if you all felt a little differently.

Please note that I feel that I have a lot to say and that I am hopefull that my blog and blogspot.com can work together in a manner beneficial to the two parties involved. If you have any questions please do not hesitate to contact me.

I thank you for your time and look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely yours,
Soze


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Tuesday, March 07, 2006

F.Y.O.T.W.

This weeks Fuck You of The Week goes to this group right here. Worthless fucks. Here's my question. How come people who ask that our troops come HOME and not be sent overseas, mostly democrats, are called traitors, unpatriotic, unsupportive of the troops by the mostly republican members of society, and groups like this hardly ever get mentioned. I mean, is there any doubt out there that these people represent the most right wing extremist views? So, they're the Republican Right Wing representatives.

There website is absolutely disgusting. It can be found here, but it's really annoying to look at.
I've been looking into Fred Phelps, the groups leader, and he has some pretty interesting quotes attributed to him:

A good left hook makes for a right fine wife. Brethren, they can lock us up, but we'll still do what the Bible tells us to do. Either our wives are going to obey, or we're going to beat them! [22]


We don't picket to win people over, idiot. It's to harden people's hearts. Make them hate. Make them hate God even more than they already do.
Our goal is to preach the Word of God to this crooked and perverse generation. By our words, some will repent. By our words, some will be condemned. Whether they hear, or whether they forbear, they will know a prophet has been among them... our goal is to glorify God by declaring His whole counsel to everyone... we hope that by our preaching some will be saved.
[3]

Anyway, for more information on this group go to Wikipedia, I've just been reading about them and am thoroughly disgusted. I did like that when Fred Phelps was disbarred in an unprecedented move the dissbarment order was signed by EVERY Federal Judge in Kansas.

Kudos goes out to the bikers. I like them.

So, Fuck You Fred Phelps.

I FOUND HIM

Remember the other day when I said I wanted people who reminded me of Martin Luther King Jr? No? What do you mean no? Just scroll down dummy.

Anyway, for the past few days I've been walking around thinking about MLK. Like I said, I really do start thinking about these things on every day other than the ones I'm supposed to. I guess that would explain why I always screw up Valentines Day, Birthdays, Christmas, etc.

So I'm at the train station yesterday and I'd just finished a book called Confessions of an Economic Hit Man - a damn good book. Go buy it. Can't afford it? Go steal it. Have too much to lose to steal? Well then you can obviously afford to buy it asshole.

Anyway, I needed a new book. A good one. So I started to look around and I found Democracy Matters : Winning the Fight Against Imperialism. It's by Cornel West. You may not know him. He's a genius so you may not hang out in the same social scene, but you should go out and buy everything he's ever done. You see, I don't believe in God, but I do believe in Cornel West. He's my new Jesus. In fact, he has a lot in common with Jesus. They both have cool hair, some facial hair, they both preach tolerance and they're both black.

So, I am starting a new Religion. It's called Westianity. Now, there will be some people that try to impose their own skewed beliefs in this religion. We'll call those people "Whitey". But instead of actually calling them Whitey, we're going to call them "Summers". See Larry Summers thought that Cornel West should have been doing more research and pissed him off. That's bullshit. It's a good thing that West went to Princeton instead, although it's a shame that he left so soon before Summers' tenure was over. Fuck Larry Summers.

I'll be writing in as I read the book with choice thoughts on it, but you all should definitely go out and buy it right now.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Perrier, French Fries and Evian

Ahh the French. What a great people. They never cease to amaze, do they? Anyone see this? So basically the French are saying that in "the interests of public security and protection of order" the Sikhs should remove their headscarfs. Is it me or is this not just BLATANT racism? They are targeting laws specifically against ethnic minorities. It's almost comical, if it weren't so offensive.

It's like the article from a couple of posts ago where the French figured prominantly. Funny, after I finished writing I remembered that I wanted to speak about the French part, but then I started speaking with the Anonymous copy editor that was correcting my hyperbole, and well I'm digressing.


Ditto for Schuble's counterpart in France, Nicolas Sarkozy. "The French way of integration no longer works," he said, meaning France's long-held pretense that its strict public secularism could erase differences and make newcomers "French." Thus Sarkozy unveiled a new immigration law earlier this month, a virtual copy of the Dutch regulations. Sarkozy plans to introduce highly selective immigration, testing for the "assimilability" of those it admits. A new "contract of welcome and integration" stipulates learning French and looking for a job in return for 10-year residence permits and discrimination protections. Immigrants failing to respect basic Western values face deportation.

Asses. I like the "testing for the 'assimilability'". Wonder what that's like. Could it be similar to testing a turkey to see if it's done at Thanksgiving? What about testing a developmentally disabled child to see if they're capable of going to school? You see the problem isn't whether or not someone is willing to come to France and be a productive member of society, but whether or not they will "buy" in to French beliefs. And that's crap. Your only requirement to live somewhere is whether or not you will abide by their agreed upon codes of conduct. Not whether or not you believe in those codes. Now they will be taking tests to see whether or not they will be willing to "drink the punch", so to speak. And that's not right.

I like the "contract". If you are willing to learn French, and become like us, then we will permit you to stay here for up to ten years, and only then will we be willing to provide you with discrimination protection. Does anyone not see the implied statement that should you not agree to "assimilate" completely that you will not be afforded those same protections? I know that's probably not what they meant, but in light of the other issues currently going on in Europe it's not that far of a stretch. Wouldn't you say? No, you wouldn't? Well I didn't ask You!!

Furthermore, these two articles almost directly contradict each other. The one about the Sikh implies that the reasoning behind the removal of the overt religious symbolism is to foster a secular, more harmonious populace, free from the interferences of religion. But, has anyone ever seen a Sikh without the turban on? I have, you know what they have underneath? A whole lot of hair, that's what. So if France is going to infringe on their rights by forcing them to remove the turban, they will still be clearly identifiable because they will have about 6 miles of hair on their heads. You see, Sikhs don't cut their hair, ever. Maybe someone should have done a little research on this in France first. I mean, YOU CAN STILL IDENTIFY THEM. Don't they have Wikipedia there? I found this on Wikipedia. Seriously, go read about Sikhs. They're like the friendliest, nicest, most wholesome religion out there...and that's where France decided to start their little shit fit? Now, I know what you're going to say. You're going to say "Soze, that site is in English. The French don't speak English." I know, but as you can see above I yelled some of the things in English. It's like when American's go to France and figure they can communicate by simply yelling at the French. But, I also checked the French Wikipedia site. Guess what, they have a page for Sikhs in French too!! I swear. It's here.

So then what's the point? Easy, to prove to the Sikhs, daily, that they are different. And to provide an unwelcoming environment for them. That's it. Unfortunately the Sikhs suffer from something I call "Sislam". Sislam is a disease that stands for "Similar to Islam". Now, Islam technically has more in common with Judaism and Christianity, but who wants to talk in technicalities. The Europeans in general, and the French in particular, seem to feel that since some Muslims wear a headdress and so do Sikhs, that they must be very similar religions. Granted it would take 13.355 seconds to figure out the difference, but they're a little too busy listening to Techno music and wearing tight (really tight) jeans.

Freaky.

I'm an idiot

So, I tried to link you all to a very well written synopsis of my thoughts on the UAE deal...instead I linked you to a discussion on the Mohammed Cartoons. Whoops.

Here's something you will have to understand about me before continuing to read the blog: I'm an idiot. Not in the self-effacing way, no no no...sometimes I'm just dumb. This being one of those times.

So, from now on just go to this site and read. Word on the street is if you can do it for 3 years you'll get an honorary law degree. The UAE shit is on there somewhere.

Ask and you shall receive...

The UAE port deal; what a wonderful phrase.
The UAE port deal; aint no passing craze

It means no Arabs, for the rest of your days.
It's your problem free, philosophy:
No-Arabs-Amitata

I have serious issues with this. Idowhatiwant's been writing about it for a while now, but since I'm not hopelessly pedantic, you may enjoy what I have to say a little too.

It's crap. It's not just crap, it's a whole bunch of crappity crap. Sometimes I seriously wonder if people in this country intentionally misunderstand things so that they can get upset. I mean look; I'm the angriest person I (and most of you too) know. But even I will sometimes sit down, take a deep breathe, smoke a cigarette, drink 4 gallons of vodka, 2 martinis, 3 beers and smoke some crystal meth to calm down, and others should as well (but not kids...kids should be cool and stay in school).

This is what I'm referring to. It's the online mail bag from Newsweek.

I'm going to speak to Cheryl from Elizabethtown, Ky. Cheryl had this to say about the deal:


Cheryl from Elizabethtown, Ky., writes that whether or not “Dubai may be a fine and wonderful ally … the government should not be outsourcing American jobs.”

Are you kidding me? Look you freaking moron: Who said anything about outsourcing of jobs? Did you read the word somewhere and decide it would be nice to throw it around? Maybe you should use a frigging dictionary and see what it means. They're selling their company, genius. To play off of Spaceballs: The Movie; "They aint outsourcing shit". See, they're selling their company- THAT'S IT. The workers will still be American's and the ports will still be located on US soil. That's an important part of being a port. It has to be located IN THE COUNTRY IT'S SERVICING!!!!! Unbelievable. Outsourcing? I can practically GUARANTEE that NO AMERICAN WILL LOSE HIS JOB FROM THIS. If one does, they will most likely be replaced by an AMERICAN. Does she even know what the debate is about?

Secondly, we have Mike from the bottom of Page 2 of the mail call. Mike decided to stop reading the article everyone else is discussing after the first paragraph and wrote this in response:


Mike, who didn't give a hometown, doesn’t share that view. “Another column on how George W. Bush is too dumb to be president,” he writes. But “the economy is roaring [and] we haven't had a terrorist attack since 9/11/01 … This is a war, everything doesn't happen exactly like it is planned. The administration may have made some mistakes, but any administration put in the same situation would have made mistakes as well.”

Okay Mikey. Thanks for pointing out that we haven't had a terrorist attack since the last terrorist attack. That's nice. Like we were Israel or something and were fighting the daily threat of terrrorist attacks under the Democrats, and then finally Bush emerged, like a Phoenix from the ashes to protect us. Fact of the matter is we've only had one, and one's enough.
And there have been tons of "terrorist attacks" since 9/11/01 Mikey. Just because non have occurred on U.S. soil, doesn't mean they don't count. Is a dead American worth any less simply because he died overseas? You should support our troops Mikey. And who said anything about a "roaring" economy? In fact, we just requested that Congress increase our debt ceiling.

Work with me here Mikey: If you were making a $100k a year, but had $400 k in debt, would you consider yourself a success (mortgages not included)? On top of that, would you voluntarily reduce your income level? Would you say to your boss "Look, you've been paying me well, and even though I have a lot of obligations I need to pay for, please reduce my salary 10%, I'll just take out another credit card to keep paying for food. Thanks."

That's assinine. But that's EXACTLY what our government is doing and half the country is happier than a pig in shit about it. Let's see: We have a ton of debt, so we are going to REDUCE our income by cutting taxes. Then, to make up for the shortfall we are going to ask Congress to increase our debt ceiling. SMART.

But I digress. If you want to read a good synopsis of the UAE deal, and one that accurately reflects my opinion on the matter, please follow this link to Idowhatiwant's page. He basically plagiarized my entire lunch conversation with him, slapped a few legal sounding words in there, polished it up with some fancy editing techniques, and presto.

Multiculturalism is Bunk

Starting to get a little upset here. I know I know, what else is new.

Saw this online today and I have to say the Europeans are really a funny bunch. First of all they come blasting into the Middle East, guns blazing, and take it over for a while. Then they get upset when some of the "dirty dirties" come hang out in their back yards. I mean seriously, we are to be honored at the mere fact that the French came to Lebanon to teach us about how lowly and pathetic we are, but if a Muslim goes there...well, that's just not right. Fuckers. The funny thing is that they used to enjoy our company. We liked each other for a while, but then things started changing and they decided that it would be better if they only supported us while we were away. I mean, the Europeans are some of the Arab's staunchest supporters in Palestine and Iraq. Just the other day the Germans felt it necessary to outright deny involvement in aiding the United States in the war in Iraq.

Choice quotes:

"We demand a new social contract," says Jan Wolter Wabeke, High Court Judge in The Hague. "We no longer accept that people don't learn our language, we require that they send their daughters to school, and we demand they stop bringing in young brides from the desert and locking them up in third-floor apartments."

Damn Jan, chill out a bit. I'm sorry, but I'm extremely offended by his reference to "bringing in young brides from the desert and locking them up in third-floor apartments".

First of all, the whole Middle East isn't some vast fucking desert you ignorant, racist prick. Secondly, you're a fucking High Court Judge!! STAY THE FUCK OUT OF POLITICS!!! Quit legislating from the bench (wait, ignore that comment). What the fuck is this about? What would we do if members of our Supreme Court started commenting publicly on pending legislation that is still being debated on the floors of the House or the Senate? I mean, that would give an indication as to whether or not they would view some things as constitutional. We would then have the Supreme Court members, who are not elected, affecting the legislative process. WEAK!!!

Secondly, can I bring in a young bride from a city and lock her up in a second-floor apartment? I'm not claiming that this doesn't happen, but to somehow hold it up as the "norm" or as being symbolic of being an Arab then he can go fuck himself.

And another thing, you fucking racists, how is this legal:

the great cosmopolitan port city of Rotterdam just published a code of conduct requiring Dutch be spoken in public.

What is that, a joke? You can legislate the language people speak in public now? What type of bullshit is that? What's the punishment? What if you're a fucking tourist? Can you get in trouble for not being fluent in a language prior to visiting that country? This is so patently stupid that it makes me fucking furious. I mean shit, we're probably one of the most xenophobic countries in the world right now, and even we know better than to try some shit like that.

Here's another question about the language part: what are the odds that a Frenchman, or a Spaniard who are visiting the fine city of Rotterdam get ticketed for not speaking Dutch in public? I'd say it's roughly the same as Blue Basilica getting turked by a syphilitic bear.

I Wikipedia'd Rotterdam and came across some interesting facts:

Rotterdam is the city of the Netherlands with the highest percentage of non-western foreigners. Nearly half the population is not born or have at least one parent who is not born in the Netherlands.

Are we in the habit of just pissing off the majority of our citizenry? Unbelievable...I say everyone just goes to Amerstdam instead and get's high from now on...no more shipping to Rotterdam.

Fucking assholes.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Chucky

Charles Krauthammer makes me mad. Really mad. And not just because he beats up Germans (get it? Kraut Hammer)

Did you see this in the Washington Post? I swear, he's a fucking moron, and I don't care what his bio says.

What is grotesque about this moment of plot clarity is that the overwhelmingly obvious critique of actual U.S. policy in the real Middle East today concerns America's excess of Wilsonian idealism in trying to find and promote -- against a tide of tyranny, intolerance and fanaticism -- local leaders like the Good Prince. Who in the greater Middle East is closest to the modernizing, democratizing paragon of "Syriana"? Without a doubt, President Hamid Karzai of Afghanistan, a man of exemplary -- and quite nonfictional -- personal integrity, physical courage and democratic temperament. Hundreds of brave American (and allied NATO soldiers have died protecting him and the democratic system they established to allow him to govern. On the very night the Oscars will be honoring "Syriana," American soldiers will be fighting, some perhaps dying, in defense of precisely the kind of tolerant, modernizing Muslim leader that "Syriana" shows America slaughtering

What the hell does Karzai have to do with this? "Greater Middle East", come on, just say it: MUSLIM. We're all alike, so quit parsing. Next thing we know Indonesia will be brought into the greater Middle East. Either "The Hammer" needs a geography lesson, or he should have just stuck to medicine.

In my naivete, I used to think that Hollywood had achieved its nadir with Oliver Stone's "JFK," a film that taught a generation of Americans that President John F. Kennedy was assassinated by the CIA and the FBI in collaboration with Lyndon Johnson. But at least it was for domestic consumption, an internal affair of only marginal interest to other countries. "Syriana," however, is meant for export, carrying the most vicious and pernicious mendacities about America to a receptive world.

What is he an idiot? "JFK" was only for domestic consumption? Does he really think that foreigners who saw it didn't feel that it was indicitive of the powers of the CIA? I mean the CIA has been killing foreigners for years. For a while it was the only thing it did. Do you really think that a movie like JFK was of little interest abroad? Well the answer is "no" jackass. Jesus Christ. "JFK" simply affirmed the beliefs of foreigners that the CIA could do whatever it wanted. If anything "JFK" was slightly more detrimental to the U.S.' image overseas because very few people are familiar with the truth over there (admitedly slightly less than here). But a story that takes place in thier neck of the woods I feel they would have a slightly better chance to discern the truth. You know?

Anyway, Chucky sucks. I wish he'd contract an STD from Blue Basilica.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Random Thoughts

I was riding the MARC train home tonight and I started thinking about Martin Luther King. Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "Soze, why on Earth are you thinking of Martin Luther King when today isn't January 16th?" Well, that's a good question. I guess the answer is this:

I don't celebrate holidays the way everyone else does. You see, I refuse to celebrate MLK's accomplishments on his day. Instead, I'll celebrate him the other 364 days a year.

I refuse to stand in Memorial of our fallen soldiers on Memorial Day, I'll stand in Memorial for them the other 364 days of the year.

I will not celebrate labor on Labor day in September, instead I will work the other 364 days of the year.

Anyway, I was thinking of the war in Iraq and MLK jumped to mind. I remembered a great quote he had and decided that I wanted to go find it. I was tempted to call up Idowhatiwant and put him to work while I was on the train, but I figured I would leave him alone instead.

Anyway, I found the quote

Don't let anybody make you think God chose America as his divine messianic force to be a sort of policeman of the whole world. God has a way of standing before the nations with justice and it seems I can hear God saying to America "you are too arrogant, and if you don't change your ways, I will rise up and break the backbone of your power, and I will place it in the hands of a nation that doesn't even know my name. Be still and know that I'm God. Men will beat their swords into plowshafts and their spears into pruning hooks, and nations shall not rise up against nations, neither shall they study war anymore." I don't know about you, I ain't going to study war anymore.

Martin Luther King doesn't make me mad. He actually relaxes me. While looking up some stuff on him I found another fantastic quote. This one is unbelievable:

It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me, but it can keep him from lynching me, and I think that's pretty important.

How great is that? That sums everything up right there. In fact, I think there's a Martin Luther King quote for almost every situation:

Our scientific powers have outrun our spiritual powers; we have guided missiles and mis-guided men.

We had guided missiles back then? Who knew?
The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. Instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it. Through violence you may murder the liar, but you cannot murder the lie, nor establish the truth. Through violence you may murder the hater, but you do not murder hate. In fact, violence merely increases hate. So it goes. Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that. Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction.... The chain reaction of evil — hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars — must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.

Anyway, I'm getting upset now. Where the fuck have these people gone? Why don't we have leaders like this anymore? Huh? I want leaders like this around. He was great because he actually believed it, but I've become so jaded that all I need is the lip service these days. Just say these things. I don't care if you don't mean it, all we need is people who can at least talk the talk right now...maybe they will inspire some people to walk the walk. I don't know, maybe it was a simpler time back then, but I can't see how.

Something else: I don't just think of these things in the terms of the US. Where are these people anywhere in the world? Is there one leader around ANYWHERE who can even hold a candle to him? I mean for crying out loud this fucking SUCKS. Who the hell can we count on?

Fuck it, I'm watching Dodgeball...

BTW, SU Basketball is currently down 15 against Depaul!

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

F.Y.O.T.W.

I've decided to institute something new on this blog. It's an award I'm going to start giving out weekly. It's called the F.Y.O.T.W Award and it stands for my Fuck You Of The Week. Every week I will, as Creator of the blog, hand out this award to a person, place, thing, or idea that I feel deserves to be told "Fuck You".

The inaugural F.Y.O.T.W. Award is going to go to Cancer. No, not the Zodiac sign. But the real Cancer. You see, I've had my issues with Cancer for a while now. When I was in sixth grade Cancer showed up and grabbed my maternal Grandma. That was fucked up. I didn't realize it then, but Cancer was talking shit, getting cocky. Next, Cancer showed up and decided he wanted a shot at my paternal Grandfather. Fine, I was 12 the first time around, but I was now a junior in High School. Surely Cancer wouldn't get away with it. Well he did. The fucker. I mean, what could I do? I was just a kid. I'd only had my drivers license for less than a year. Cancer had been around a while and had a whole lot of institutional memory. I was powerless, and I think Cancer saw that. We decided on a truce. I wouldn't talk shit to Cancer and Cancer would leave people I knew alone. But I kind of always knew Cancer planned a sneak attack.

Well, the fucker showed up the other day and ruined a perfectly good meal. Cancer decided to go after my aunt this time. You see, Cancer's a piece of shit. In fact, Cancer is similar to shit in a lot of ways. They both grow inside you quietly. They're both roughly the same color. They both stink...I could go on and on. But I won't. I'll spare you the fecal talk because, well, that's disgusting.

Anyway, back to my aunt. She got diagnosed with Breast cancer. A particularly nasty form too.

You see, here's my problem with Cancer. It doesn't have the balls to just come get you. No, it hides for a while and then appears and you have to deal with it. That's weak.

I swear, if I ever ran into Cancer in a dark alley, I'd pop a cap in it's ass.

If Cancer were my dog, I'd put it to sleep.

If Cancer tried to talk shit to me, I'd stab it in it's throat.

If I were ever to go to prison (highly likely) and Cancer was my cellmate, I'd fashion a shank and shiv Cancer at night when the guards weren't looking...actually, check that...I'd make Cancer my bitch.

But since non of that is actually a possibility right now, I'll just forward link you to this site. It's the Susan G. Komen foundation. They're the ones responsible for the pink ribbons (I think). I'll also link the donations page. It's right here. I'm not going to request you donate or anything because few things make me madder than people asking me to give shit to causes and other things. I'm just showing you the way there because nobody knows. I mean, what if the $20 you donate helps buy the supermicroscope that they need to study something new. Then that discovery leads them to find x, which leads to y, which leads to z, and BOOM it's a cure. You don't know whether or not that's possible.

Also, I'm not saying Breast Cancer is any more important than the other Cancers. Their all equally shitty in my mind. It's that this is the one on my mind right now. If you want to talk about another Cancer, that's cool.

So, won't you all join in me in giving Cancer a big, giant, FUCK YOU!!.
Ready, come on now, real loud: "FUCK YOU CANCER!!!"

I'll take my coffee black:

I wonder if this is going to be offered in both Hutu and Tutsi flavors:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060301/ap_on_bi_ge/starbucks_rwanda

yeah yeah, I'm an asshole.